Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear Beth... (How To Release Negativity and Old Patterns With The Moon)

Dear Beth:

I was told by someone who attends one of your Positive Energy Groups that there is a way to release my old patterns (which are about being in negative relationships over and over and not being able to have the love that I really desire) by doing a sort of ritual with the moon. Can you tell me how to do it?

-Jen A, wanting release in Port Jefferson

Hi Jen,

Releasing with the moon is an extremely effective ritual for several reasons. One reason relates to how truly connected we are to the natural world. The new moon indicates a new cycle, which occurs on a monthly basis. Like all things living, there are natural cycles of birth, life, and death and every month and every moon experiences this as well. Your personal issues also have a cycle of birth (when they started), life (how long they have bothered and/or served you) and now death (actually allowing them to be released).

Another reason that this ritual is effective is because it is energetic and symbolic. Energetically, you when you do this you are shifting from the negative state to the new, refreshing positive state. Symbolically, you speak to the non-verbal, right brained intuitive self by using a sensory ritual and not just words to make change in your life.

Regardless of why it works, have faith that it does! I have had many, many personal experiences and a multitude of individual and group clients do this exercise and find that the experiences range from “relieving and relaxing” to “I can finally breathe again” to “Extremely weird how my life changed immediately.”

Here’s What To Do;

Step One: The Releasing Letter

Sit quietly and write down what you want to release. On a sheet of paper, tell the story of what you are ready to let go of i.e. “Today, I release the lack of love that I have for myself that allows me to pick partners that are no good for me. I release my low self-esteem and the message that I got from my father that I wasn’t good enough and my 8th grade teacher that I was stupid. I release the boy who rejected me at the prom in 10th grade. I release loneliness and finding being alone to be intolerable. I release this old pattern of selling myself short. I release desperately wanting what I think everyone else has. I release my current partner whom I know if not good for me. I release my desire to keep in contact with him. I release all of these negative thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and energies to the universe for healing. I no longer need these things in my life and they do not serve me being my best vehicle of love and kindness to myself or others in the world.” You will find this part of the exercise to already cause major shift.

Step 2: The Welcome Letter

Like all energy and space, when the negative is eliminated we must “fill” it with something. On a sheet of paper, it is now time to write what you will be inviting into your life, i.e. “I invite into my life a wonderful sense of self love. I invite ein new friends that want the best for me and think I am fabulous. I invite in new and exciting, healthy experiences. I welcome the feeling of enjoying my independence. I welcome feeling satisfied with myself and my life. I welcome in peace and forgiveness. I invite in taking a new and interesting class to keep my and feelings busy in a positive way. I am ready for and welcome in a feeling of love for myself. And when I am ready, I will welcome in a healthy relationship that reflects that love for myself.”

Step 3: The Burning Ritual

Now find out when the next full moon will be. If you can, do this exercise the outside and on the evening of a full moon but if you only have time in the day that is fine, too. Read you releasing letter out loud and when you are done, burn it in a safe container (i.e. a coffee container). Take several deep breaths as it burns. Now read your Welcome Letter. Read both letters with intention, even if it feels silly. You are telling the universe that you are emphatically ready for change and it is best if you can put your feelings and passion behind it. Do not burn your welcome letter. Keep it safe and enjoy reading it at other times if you are discouraged about your intention or path.

Step 4: Look for The Signs

Keep an eye out for changes that happen in your life and continue doing this ritual on a monthly basis, for other issues that come up for you. This is a cleansing process that truly helps to purge your system of the blocks and issues that prevent the life you desire.

You must be very aware of yourself and your daily experiences if you want to see the evidence that your ritual has worked and do not discount anything as merely a coincidence! Note: you also may need additional tools and personal work to completely release these issues from your life.


Step 5: Tell Us About It and Win Free Stuff!

Blog the Dear Beth Blog with your stories of what happened when you did this exercise or any other questions about self growth and how to think, feel, and be happier. Your entry will help others learn while also being entered in a monthly raffle for a free individual Intuitive Breakthrough Session with Beth Miller.

Monday, November 9, 2009

You're Invited!

Come visit us on Nov 21!
"Your Health is Your Best Investment"

What: Gaia's Essences presents Women's Wellness Conference 2009

Where: The Holiday Inn Express, Stony Brook

When: Saturday November 21, 2009 , 5 - 10 PM

Why: The WWC is a local event that was inspired by women health professionals from the tri-state area. Seminar topics include Holistic Wellness, Healthy Cooking, Nutritional Counseling, Spiritual and Wellness Education, Fitness Training, and more! Network and learn with a gathering of like-minded, forward-thinking health and happiness practitioners from New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and Maryland. Bring a friend, and don't forget to stop by The Center for Self Growth's table to say HI!

Women's Wellness Conference fee is $25.00, includes access to all seminars, wellness exhibit and a tote bag with wellness goodies/coupons/gift certificates. To register, email your name, email address and phone number to, or call 631.509.0788 for more info.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Article by Beth Miller

The 8 Good Reasons Why You’re Not Getting What You Want

Whether you have been consciously practicing the Law of Attraction or not, you probably have moments when you get frustrated that you are not getting something that you want.

Frustration happens, it’s human, and this article is meant to help you see the process of wanting something and getting it from a different vantage point that might help.

You might think you would like the idea of being like the genie on “I Dream of Genie”: to think up something that you want, cross your arms, wiggle your nose, and poof! Your desire stands before you, ready to driven by you, loved by you, lived in, worked at, eaten, flaunted, or spent in huge and worry-free amounts. That’s because most of what we want is our version of the perfect car, relationship, home, career, food, great body, or money in one form or another.

“Yes”, you’re thinking, “I DO want to be like the genie! I want to be able to wiggle my nose and get what I want whenever I want it.” But I’d like to challenge that….

Read more…

Imagine life on this planet with 6 ½ billion genies, each one ordering up the perfect cars, the perfect bodies, the perfect relationships, the perfect food, the perfect homes, the perfect careers, and the perfect amount of money. Whatever could be imagined or wanted could be accomplished without any effort or personal growth whatsoever.

Sounds good, right? On the plus side, the pros of being a Genie are:

You get to wear flashy, diaphanous, loose clothing

You get to have whatever you want, whenever you want it without any thought or struggle.

On the other hand, maybe there is a plus side to learning how to co-create what you want, instead of just having all your desires appear without any effort. By co-creating:

  • We get to “have our hands in the clay”. (To potters, who make art out of clay on a potters wheel, the very enjoyment of the process if to shape and create the bowl, not just the finished project. Sometimes it falls, other times they learn how to move their hands perfectly and the bowl comes to life. The potter could just as easily go to Target and buy a bowl, but that wouldn’t feel inspiring or interesting. We all, like potters, like to be a part of shaping our life as it unfolds.
  1. We need, want, like, and sometimes hate “The journey”. (Which one would you choose: to go white water rafting and take the whole journey down the river on a raft, feeling the calm parts and also the bumpy parts OR just dropping the raft in at the bottom of the river and saying you went white water rafting? Even if you don’t dig water sports, the point here is clear. We want the RIDE that is life, and we appreciate the bumpy and calm parts because they both exist. Just getting dropped off at the bottom would be safe, but mundane and boring.
  1. We learn what faith is and how to actually have it (Faith is “believing without seeing”, and having faith enables us to remember that we are not alone in our lives)
  2. We get the opportunity to keep refining what it is that we want as we go through the process of creating it (Imagine if you immediately got everything you thought or felt about, before you got a chance to be absolutely sure that’s you wanted. Remember that old slogan “Careful what you wish for because you just might get it…”)
  3. We actually learn the specific skills necessary to accomplish our dreams (how to write a book, build a business, save money for a home, learn a language, read a map)
  4. We feel satisfied about what we created (Think of how proud you were when you finger painted and said “Look ma! Look what I made!” How proud would you feel if you just ordered up a Picasso and showed it to your mom when any other kid could do exactly the same thing?)
  5. We learn what is special about us, and where our individual talents and strengths are. If every genie could create the same things, there would be no differences between us.
  6. Sometimes, when we don’t get what we want right away, we realize it was all for the best as time went on. (Sometime we are SO glad we didn’t get what we wanted at the time. For instance, years ago I was really hoping to become partners with a group of therapists but it just wasn’t working out. At the time, I was frustrated.. But now that I look back, I couldn’t be happier that I don’t get what I wanted! I travel less, am doing exactly what I desire, and make my own decisions. What examples do you have of being blessed that you didn’t get what you wanted at the time?)
  7. And we get better, stronger, faster, and smarter by being challenged and using our muscles, our minds, our emotions, and our skills. Otherwise, they atrophy.

If you are not convinced that the sometimes struggle and frustration that is part of life is better than being a genie, think of the stereotypical trust fund baby who can’t find a satisfying career almost because they don’t have to develop the skills to learn how to make money and support themselves. On one hand, we all want to BE that person that has gobs of money and doesn’t have to pay bills while discovering their career passion. But when we really take a look at the people who have that, their lost feelings seem even more unbearable than our frustration at paying the bills while creating careers we actually like.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Check it out!

With nature-oriented ideas and meditations, the use of online marketing tools to cut down paper waste, and our "green" ideas on how to think, feel and be happier, The Center for Self Growth has been listed as a "Green Company" here: Check it out!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

By Beth Miller

Washing Your Mouth Out With Money:

Cleaning Up Your Talk To Attract More Abundance

Our mothers and grandmothers were right when they said “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”. It seems hard to practice that golden rule all the time. In fact, many people indulge in saying “nothing good” as a matter of routine conversation or habit. You know what I’m talking about: all the worried talk about money, pointing out the flaws of your neighbors or favorite-celebrity-to-hate, focusing on what is wrong with things instead of what is right, and the critical self talk when you look in the mirror.

We all know it isn’t necessarily good for us- or others- to talk about “nothing good”, but do you know how it might be actually hurting your own prosperity and abundance?

Read more…

Why Do We Focus On The Negative?

It’s all too easy to focus on the bad and I often wonder what’s compels us to be so intrigued by it. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Are you competitive and/or insecure? Maybe it’s a primal competitive nature to judge others or even bask in their misery as a way to make us feel like we will survive better than our competitors (other women or men). If they make mistakes or have a flaw, we can feel better about what’s imperfect about us. If this is you, your judgments about yourself will force you to judge others in turn.

Is the negative comfortable? Have you grown up in a critical environment where it was the norm to point out what is flawed, not-good-enough, or inadequate? If so, and even if you hate that it’s true, feeling disappointed or dissatisfied with life may be your comfort zone.

Do you get rewarded for being positive? When you are optimistic and cheerful, do others celebrate you or call you Polyanna? Do people still respect and bond with you when you refuse to indulge in the negativity? If not, you may fear being your newer, more positive self if it means that your relationships will suffer.

Do you get rewarded for being negative? Try to notice if you get more attention, empathy, or help from anyone when you are negative/helpless/dissatisfied. Do you get more oil when you are the squeaky wheel? If so, this will keep you complaining.

Are you bored and have nothing else to talk about? This is key. Some lives and relationships are built on kvetching or picking people and things apart, as a way to fill up the time and boredom. If this sounds like you, you may need to make your life more interesting to keep from filling up your conversation with interesting negativity.

How Your Talk Blocks Your Abundance

Of course it’s true that it’s better for everyone if you focus on beauty, grace, and the positive. It enables you to be kinder and emanate a helpful, loving energy that will affect everyone around you, even people you don’t even directly talk to.

But if healing the world with your own energy is not enough incentive, consider this: you are actually blocking many forms of goodness that are trying to get to you by being your own wall of negativity. The Law of Attraction is based on not only attracting but also allowing in what you want. A stream of good things always wants to flow to you. Your own focus on what is wrong with others, yourselves, or situations blocks that good and makes you a match to more stuff you don’t want. Period. It’s that simple. So…talk about someone’s shortcomings and your energy shifts to one of resent or disgust and that makes YOU a magnet for more situations that make you feel resent or disgust. Whoops! I’ll bet that’s not what you intended when you were trying to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down.

THE KEY POINT IS WHATEVER YOU TALK ABOUT WILL BE YOUR REALITY! Put another way, you can’t talk about what you don’t want and get what you do.

How To Stop Talking About What You Don’t Want

Wash Your Mouth Out With Money: Stop talking trash, and only talk abundance. If you are inclined to worry or complain about what is going wrong, wash your mouth our with soap and either say prosperous abundant things OR SAY NOTHING AT ALL.

Zip The Lip: Catch yourself as you are beginning to talk about someone and simply close your mouth.

Give Random and Enthusiastic Compliments: Start noticing people’s strengths and telling them (“You know Ruth, I was just thinking this morning about what a great dresser you are…”). Do this often. You will feel great and so will everyone else.

Clean Up Your Self Talk: Remember, the universe responds to your energy. You must emanate an energy of self love to get good things back (money, love, a great job, weight loss). You must start talking to yourself in a way that honors you so that the universe can do the same.

Just Because You Think It Doesn’t Mean You Need To Say It: Your thoughts are fleeting and temporary. There is no need to make them concrete by always talking about them out loud. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Create a Vision of Yourself: Make it your personal mission to be thought of as a really nice or kind person. Then, make decisions all day long to match up to the person you want to be.

Lastly, be kinder to yourself. We are taught to be so hard on ourselves and everyone else. You will be a magnet for abundance the more you notice what is great about you and everyone else!

Email Beth Miller with your thoughts or questions!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

"Transformational Breath: Make Your Mind Your Best Friend"

Sun Sept 13 , 10 - 11:30 AM
Rita Davies Wild, Essential Holistics Inc

Not sure that you are making the right decisions?

Are you afraid of the decisions you have already made?

What can help is clarity and insight.

Experience Transformational Breath - a technique developed to transform and bring about a state of Peace and Well Being. With Transformational Breath old patterns are brought to awareness, restructured and consciously transmuted. As personal identity changes by touching the transpersonal realm, the "True Inner Nature" reveals itself and behavior automatically alters.
The great news is that it starts working during the first session.

Transformational Breath developed by the International Breath Institute is a natural healing method, which mobilizes the body's resources toward wholeness and well-being. The institute studies concluded that we can alter our mental, emotional and physical states by directing our breath. Old breathing patterns are reprogrammed to achieve better health.

Since most of our emotional experience registers in our abdomen and torso, our emotional responses interact constantly with our breathing. We hold our breath, pause in the normal sequence of inflow and outflow, or breath shallowly to avoid feeling old trauma stored in the chest and abdomen. The deep breathing technique helps to release old trauma, correct old breathing patterns and focuses on creating a sense of ease and deep well-being.

The physical benefits of regular Transformational Breath sessions can include mitigation of many of the causes of migraine headaches, sinus problems and other stress related ailments.

Limited Seating!
Register to reserve your spot, Workshop Fee $30
For more information Click Here

Monday, August 31, 2009

Our Doors Are Open, So Come On In!

Attention Wellness Practitioners:
Long Islanders Want To Learn From You!
If you are a teacher of health and happiness, we want to connect with you, read on.

The Center for Self-Growth (CSG) invites wellness practitioners with “big ideas” who are interested in facilitating a workshop or group, in hopes of enhancing the lives and learning’s of the local community through stimulating ideas and forward-thinking. Here, at The Center, we are always on the look out for new ways to help the community learn and grow through wellness education, workshops, groups, and one-on-one combined Pyschotherapy and Life Coaching. It is our mission to provide our local community with a wide variety of health and happiness workshops to facilitate growth in faster and more fulfilling ways.

We are calling out to health and happiness practitioners who are interested in partnering with us to host a workshop or group. We are looking for people who are confident in their skills and subject matter, as well as, comfortable leading others and delivering an interesting, fun and informative workshop.

The Center for Self Growth is passionate about inspiring personal, professional and spiritual growth, in addition to extending support to the community and teaching the resources and techniques that are monumental in learning to live happier, more fulfilling and less stressful lifestyles.

If you, or someone you know, might be a good fit and this sounds like the opportunity you’ve been waiting for, please contact us for more information at !

We have officially opened our doors to new people, ideas and an opportunity….the rest is up to you! We look forward to hearing from you!

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

"Creating Healthy Habits for Fall after a Summer off Your Routine"
DeAnna Lynn Englezos, Program Manager and Life Coach

This month, let the change of season act as a quarterly benchmark and work to your benefit to naturally keep you in line and on track. After a nice relaxing summer, it’s the perfect time to gear up for Fall and create some healthy habits that will help catapult your personal, professional, spiritual and financial goals to skyrocketing levels this season.

Use this simple exercise below to help you THRIVE in changing times and STAY ON TRACK with your goals for lasting, outstanding success!

1. SET A GOAL: Identify your main goal by answering a few simple questions.
a. What do you want more of in your life? (time, energy, money, health, fun, free time, etc.)
b. What do you want less of? (stress, negativity, fatigue, etc)
c. How do you want to feel on a daily basis? (energized, happy, fulfilled, joyful, positive, productive, etc)
2. FOCUS. Streamline your thoughts and decide how you will focus your time and energy.
3. TAKE ACTION. Identify ONE action that you will take immediately, ONE action that you will take daily towards reaching your goal. For maximum success, identify ONE action that you engage in right now that can potentially hinder your success. Focus your time and energy on the positive daily actions and thoughts to combat potential negative ones.
4. TRACK YOUR SUCCESS. Decide how you will track your success while you are staying on track and achieving your goals. Some people like to write it down in a small journal. If you work best on a deadline, it sometimes works well to set a date. You decide what will work best for you.
5. ACCESS and ADJUST. How will you know when you have met your goal? What will it look like? What will it feel like? What will your day entail? What daily, weekly, lifestyle changes have you made? How will you make sure your healthy habits stick?

Remember that reaching your goals is about THE PROCESS: taking stock of where you are in life, identifying simple daily actions and small changes, taking action and holding yourself accountable, and then accessing your progress/success and celebrating YOU!

Thursday, August 27, 2009


Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC

We have a change of season upon us, and I don’t just mean the upcoming autumn. On Long Island, we have 4 distinct seasons that are marked by incredibly unique changes in nature. As we learn to connect more with nature and treat our lives as part of a holistic pattern enmeshed with the energy around us, we realize that the changing seasons of nature are also reflected in the changing rhythm of our own lives.

Look outside yourself to see how your environment is mirrored within yourself. It is all ONE.

The environmental shift from summer to autumn is an exciting time to make personal changes that will be even more effective in your life because the natural energy around you is in the same changing pattern. To go with the flow, now is a great time to take very specific steps that will be supported by the larger context of energy you live within.

The end of summer has a certain buzz, a distinct fervor among people and nature. Folks are rushing to fit as much as they can into summer, to get the most out of the free time and sunlight. Children, parents, and friends frantically rev up their activities in almost the identical way that the summer heats up most right before cooling off. Now, at the tail end of August and beginning of September, we and nature are pressing the last of the season’s gifts- we live it up the same way the flowers and bugs do, squeaking out the last pollen of summertime.

And then the season changes. Flowers shrivel up, we wake to cooler air in the morning, mosquitoes evaporate, the ground gets raked of summer flowers and bulbs are planted for a coming spring. School aged kids and their parents prepare for new beginnings with new clothing, new routines, new supplies. Traffic patterns change, fall clothing is worn even it is still 85 degrees out, we ready for pumpkin picking and wine tasting. Nature sparks this transition and we follow suit.

The season of autumn is a time of new beginnings and nature is preparing for both autumnal bounty and regrouping in winter. The lessons of autumn are to begin slowing down and take stock of where we are and what we want. For most, this cannot begin until mid-September, after the frantic motion of August has finally slowed.

September and October mark the beginning of a season of celebration. Bask in the bounty of what you have created this year. Take some time to breath and take it all in. Celebrate by reflecting. What have we grown this year? Where has our energy been spent? Did what we intended to create come to bounty? Why or why not?

After reflecting and celebrating, spend time envisioning your next creations. Ask what you want to grow in the spring, what do you want to create next, where should your time and energy be spent. Now is a time of planning your upcoming landscape and planting bulbs. It is a time of dreaming, meditating, and taking nourishing your soil so that you can once again bear more fruit in the future.

Don’t rush yourself through autumn. Allow yourself to truly celebrate, reflect, and envision the same way nature does.

When we flow with the patterns of nature, we can most easily move with the flow of our lives. By flowing with the lessons and nature of the season, our creations easily take hold because they are at one with the energy of the season. You don’t try to plant watermelon in the winter, but you do pick corn and enjoy the bounty of what was planted seasons ago. To get the most out of the energy of autumn, celebrate your creations and then plant the ideas of what you want to grow.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Gratitude Poem

Be Thankful

~ Author Unknown ~

Thanks for not having
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Thanks for lacking knowledge
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Thanks for difficult times
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Thanks for limitations
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Thanks for challenges
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Thanks for mistakes made
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Thanks for exhaustion
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made the effort.

Thanks for setbacks
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Thanks for troubles
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Monday, August 17, 2009

NEW Workshop Alert!

Transformational Breath

10:00 AM - 11:30 AM

"Transformational Breath- Your Mind Can Be Your Best Friend"

Rita Davies Wild

Not sure that you are making the right decision? Are you afraid of the decisions you have already made? What can help is clarity and insight. Experience Transformational Breath - a technique developed to transform and bring about a state of Peace and Well Being.

With Transformational Breath old patterns are brought to awareness, restructured and consciously transmuted. As personal identity changes by touching the transpersonal realm, the “True Inner Nature” reveals itself and behavior automatically alters.

The great news is that it starts working during the first session!

TO REGISTER: Send an email with your name/email/phone# to . Space is limited! Seats available on a first come first serve basis!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Greetings and Welcome, Friends!

If you are anything like many of us here on Long Island, you are craving to feel healthier and happier. You want more ease and joy in your relationships, busy, finances, career, spirituality, emotions and mind. Perhaps you want to feel more peaceful, purposeful or passionate in your daily life.

These are specific areas of well-being that we take a great interest in at The Center for Self-Growth. Our mission is to provide health and wellness resources and support to the neighboring community on Long Island at our Setauket location. Now, we want to take that a step further and reach more people with as many helpful and free resources as we can through this blog.

We have been able to reach the community through one-on-one psychotherapy and life coaching with Beth Miller, health and wellness workshops open to the public led by a variety of topic-specific doctor's and professionals, on-going positive energy support groups, detoxification groups, our monthly newsletter, and more. Today, we are proud to add this blog to the list of ways that we strive to positively contribute to the community.

We plan to post a variety of health and happiness related articles, thoughts, meditations, inspiration and resources, as well as upcoming news about The Center and the people that make The Center for Self Growth an environment for learning and living your best life.

It's never too late to start to "think, feel and be happier." We will do our best to serve you with information and resources to make that possible.

Thanks for visiting our new blog, we hope to see you back here very soon!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

PRESS RELEASE: “A Small Space for Big Ideas"

The Center for Self-Growth invites the public to positively participate in more ways than one.

The Center for Self-Growth (CSG) invites wellness practitioners with “big ideas” who are interested in facilitating a workshop or group, in hopes of enhancing the lives and learning’s of the local community through stimulating ideas and forward-thinking. This summer, the CSG will offer a variety of health and happiness workshops including positive energy groups, detoxification groups, emotional freedom technique (EFT) healing circles, Feng Shui workshops, psychic and angel therapy, hypnobirthing and more! Conscious parenting, positive relationships, financial coaching, law of attraction, and healing cancer are scheduled for fall.

For over a year and half, the CSG, located in Setauket, has become Suffolk County’s link between health and wellness practitioners and the people in the community who are interested in personal and professional development. Additionally, the CSG, “where Long Islander’s go to grow,” is the home of the combined psychotherapy and life coaching practice of the center’s director, Beth Miller.

“The concept of The Center as a ‘small space for big ideas’ is a true calling to the growing community that we have created over the past year and a half and continue to welcome on a daily basis,” says Beth Miller, Director of the CSG and Licensed Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach. “We see ourselves as a gathering place where people come to learn how to live their best lives. We are also the link between wellness practitioners and the local community. Most of us have not be taught the skills and tools to really live lives that feel good and are successful in all areas. The Center aims to fill in that gap and teach people how to think, feel, and be happier. With all of the recent negativity in the news, it’s exciting to be a part of something that is positive, inspiring and continually growing and I think that is why people have been receiving us so well.”

The director of the center, Beth Miller, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach whose vision to create a place where Long Islanders can learn how to become healthier and happier was realized in January of 2008. Steadily thriving one and a half years later, the CSG remains passionate about inspiring personal and professional growth, in addition to extending support to the community and teaching the resources and techniques that are monumental in learning to live happier, more fulfilling and less stressful lifestyles.

The CSG is dedicated to welcoming new ideas and workshop facilitators, as well as offering these events to the local community in affordable and economically conscious ways. To learn more about the CSG, visit www.thecenterforselfgrowth or email .

About Beth Miller
Beth Miller is the founder of The Center for Self Growth and a licensed psychotherapist and certified life coach. Beth hosts positive energy groups and EFT healing circles, as well as works with individual clients one-on-one using a unique, intuitive therapy she created that combines deep-healing psychotherapy with action-oriented life coaching. She specializes in removing old subconscious programming, allowing people to effectively realize the lives they desire now. For individual appointments with Beth Miller, call 631-327-0090 or
INSPIRATION blackwhitephoto
"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!"
- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture



If you are anything like me, you want to release all of the blocks that keep you stuck from moving forward.

As a therapist and coach that specializes in finding and eliminating blocks,I have become simply fascinated by how our "issues" repeat themselves. Our themes, built upon early-life programming get locked into our subconscious, and keep repeating until we become conscious of them and make some changes. And because your subconscious is running the show about 90% of your day, it is so important to make sure that your old programming is not getting in the way of what you want in life going forward.

Some past programming is fabulous and is responsible for your current successes. Beliefs and programming like "making money is easy and I am really good at it" will enable you to be abundant in these areas.

However, there are those areas, big or small, that you just can't seem to have any success with, such as nail-biting, inability to lose weight, constant bickering with your partner, or always feeling left out by friends. What about your phobia of flying, working hard but never having enough money, never feeling good enough, feeling empty when not in a relationship, or chronic worry that gnaws at you?

Regardless of the size of the issue, any limitation can seriously get in the way of our daily happiness and ease. We are often unaware of this programming, though, and think that this is "just how life is."

CAN YOU REALLY HAVE EMOTIONAL FREEDOM FROM OLD PROGRAMMING FOR GOOD? If we can find the issue in the subconscious, we can eliminate it with "EFT"- Emotional Freedom Technique- a tapping procedure used to clean out the old energy blocks that are causing your current problem while talking about the problem. I use EFT to search around your belief system like a flashlight, finding the programming that is blocking your success in any area, and eliminate it for good.

I have seen some fairly amazing results with EFT, sometimes bordering on miraculous and bizarre. Remember, an energy block in one area of life blocks ALL areas of potential ease and abundance. But I'm biased. I am in love with this technique because it is truly incredible and I use it in almost ALL of my sessions with clients these days. But here is what some have had to say:

Dear Beth: I have struggled for years with alcohol abuse, an early childhood trauma, not feeling good enough, and anger. Literally, those issues are gone or nearly gone. Thank you so much, A

Dear Beth: I have been tapping on my impatience (something I have dealt with for the last 15 years)...and I have been feeling a peace I cannot describe.. It has also worked for headaches, and leg pain. You were able to get to the root of the issue a lot quicker than if I was to do it on my own. Thank you, J

Dear Beth: The chocolate at work was a huge problem for me and it has been two months since I have eaten it now at work. I also used EFT 2 weeks ago to attract "wealth", and I received a $900 check in the mail that I was not expecting.. Love and Peace, C

Dear Beth:'s kind of like vaccinating yourself...I would definitely recommend EFT, for ANY issue... I think EFT helps to release these stored feelings in ways that just talking about it doesn't always fully release. I think EFT is a great tool for everyone to learn of all ages and with all different issues. - CE

FREE: go to to learn more about self healing EFT
ATTEND: The Next EFT HEALING CIRCLE with Beth Miller: June 24
OR SCHEDULE: A private session with Beth Miller 631-327-0090

Tips for Navigating Through Some of Life's Inevitable Roadblocks

Regardless of how much we try to plan and foresee what the future will bring, most of the time, life takes its natural course anyway. This often means inevitable bumps in the road. When this happens, there is no need to steer completely off course, instead, try some of the tips below, be patient, and trust the process. It is all part of some grander plan, and in time, you will be able to connect the dots.

1. Find a neutral sounding board.

2. Get support, don't go it alone.

3. Be patient, and trust the process.

4. Re-connect with Nature.

5. Channel the negative energy into something positive.

Lastly, remember not to get too hard on yourself. It's easy to feel off balanced when times are uncertain. When you release the tension in healthy ways, you are able to react appropriately and diffuse the chaos. The best way you can ensure that you are living your great life, is to take healthy actions in the midst of turmoil.

Be well,
DeAnna Lynn Englezos
Program Manager, The Center for Self Growth

More info on DeAnna

SEXUAL ABUSE: How The Strange Silence About This Epidemic Issue Blocks Us All

Since The Feel Better Letter(our monthly newsletter) is meant to help you feel good, it may seem surprising that I am highlighting such a difficult and upsetting issue. Sexual abuse and talk of it is rarely uplifting. Stick with this article, though, and I promise to give you some good things to feel about by it's end.

Years ago, my entire psychotherapy practice focused on trauma survivors and I became an expert in treating sexual abuse and trauma of all kinds. So it was expected that EVERY client I treated had been sexually abused.
However, these days I have clients coming through my door for every reason under the sun, although almost all issues boil down to simply wanting to feel happier in life.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that a startling portion of current clients, regardless of why they initially sought out therapy with me, have had a least one experience with being sexually abused in their past. I have turned this issue over in mind many times and I ask very deep questions about why there is such a prevalence of adults hurting children sexually. I ask "what happens in SO MANY adult's experience that they would find children sexually interesting?" and "why are we all so silent about such an insane issue that affects far more people than the statistics say?" In trying to make sense of it all, I have read all of the research and theories about why sexual abuse exists, and even wondered if our culture needs "lower energy experiences" to help us all grow and evolve.

My main message today is that if you have been sexually abused, DO NOT let the silence in our culture fool you. You have lots of company all around you. Sometimes I think that the silence is meant to protect us all. Perhaps we fear our whole culture would melt down if we really talked about the taboo topic of the sexual abuse of children publicly. And yet, we must, because the silence is keeping us all from the possibility of solutions.

We develop beliefs about ourselves and our world from our life experiences. Sexual abuse survivors often have beliefs about being unworthy, unlovable, not good enough, never safe, and more. These beliefs block so many of the good things that they desire and DESERVE. If you have been sexually abused, please know that there are very effective "treatments" available to heal and release those blocking beliefs. You do not have to suffer, nor suffer in silence.

So I am putting the call out there. If you want to end the silence in your own life, feel free to email me to simply make your voice heard and acknowledge that you and your experience is real. I will read all replies.

Wishing you peace, Beth


A free advice column to think, feel, and be happier

IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOU GET IMPATIENT OR FRUSTRATED when things aren't happening as fast as you want them to. Perhaps you have a new idea and you want it to happen NOW, or you have been working on something that you desire for a while and you are getting fed up with the "process". It's easy to consider giving up or throwing the adult version a a temper tantrum and feel like life isn't "fair".

It may be helpful to remember that creating new things in your life is like planting a seed. When you plant a seed, you don't return a day after and feel upset that it hasn't sprouted into a huge vegetable garden because you accept that the process of it's growth takes time and nourishment. You have faith that, as long as you are watering it and the conditions remain right, the seed will sprout when it is exactly ready. This is no different than how you understand that a baby takes 9 months to gestate safely. Being born before that time is considered "pre-mature" because is not optimal for the baby to be thriving and independent.
This is what is called the GESTATION TIME of the creation of all things. That is to say that all creations have a period of growing to be done on an unseen plane or a growth phrase before they come forth on the physical plane. How comforting it is to remember that it is faith and patience, not pushing and needing, that allow your creation to come through in the best time and way possible.
In order to grow the seeds of your life into vibrant, strong flowers that last and are born in exactly the right season, try these steps:
PREPARING THE FOUNDATION- Just as a seed needs the proper PH and soil conditions, so do the desires that you want to come forth in your life. You must prepare your life for what you desire to come forth and make sure that it is a good time for this desire to be in your life.

NOURISHING THE SEED- When you plant a seed, you are careful to water it and give it sunlight. Without the proper caretaking, the seed and the dream will die or barely flourish. This means paying daily attention and taking daily steps to cultivate your desire, not just thinking about it once in a while and hoping it will happen.

SPROUTING AND BLOOMING- You can plant a watermelon in the autumn and hope it comes up in winter, but it probably won't be able to grow in the cold. And even if it does, it most likely won't live long. So, too, is the sprouting of your dreams. Plant them at the right time and when they bloom, don't allow worry thoughts and negative thinking to block the sunlight from helping them thrive. Stand back and allow, pull the weeds of negative thinking and worry that the good "won't last", and enjoy the fruits of your patience. Remember that there may be a much wiser force that is co-creating with you, helping the process happen at exactly the right time.
SHOULD YOU EVER GIVE UP ON THE DREAM? No. One of the main reasons people do not accomplish their desires and dreams is giving up too soon. The key may be to allow the dream to evolve. If what you want is not unfolding easily, allow yourself to be flexible about the original idea of what you wanted. Often, the universe will give us exactly what we need and want and it will looking surprising different than what we imagined originally. Open your mind to new possibilities of how you can have what you want!
Remember that what you are seeking is also seeking you.

"If you are anything like me..." was created to help all of us find ways to cope and thrive with the challenges of life. Each month we will feature questions sent in by you, the readers, and Beth's ideas about what tools and skills to use to deal with the issues at hand. Email your life questions or challenges to and your anonymous question may be in next month's column.