Dear Beth... (How To Release Negativity and Old Patterns With The Moon)

Dear Beth:

I was told by someone who attends one of your Positive Energy Groups that there is a way to release my old patterns (which are about being in negative relationships over and over and not being able to have the love that I really desire) by doing a sort of ritual with the moon. Can you tell me how to do it?

-Jen A, wanting release in Port Jefferson

Hi Jen,

Releasing with the moon is an extremely effective ritual for several reasons. One reason relates to how truly connected we are to the natural world. The new moon indicates a new cycle, which occurs on a monthly basis. Like all things living, there are natural cycles of birth, life, and death and every month and every moon experiences this as well. Your personal issues also have a cycle of birth (when they started), life (how long they have bothered and/or served you) and now death (actually allowing them to be released).

Another reason that this ritual is effective is because it is energetic and symbolic. Energetically, you when you do this you are shifting from the negative state to the new, refreshing positive state. Symbolically, you speak to the non-verbal, right brained intuitive self by using a sensory ritual and not just words to make change in your life.

Regardless of why it works, have faith that it does! I have had many, many personal experiences and a multitude of individual and group clients do this exercise and find that the experiences range from “relieving and relaxing” to “I can finally breathe again” to “Extremely weird how my life changed immediately.”

Here’s What To Do;

Step One: The Releasing Letter

Sit quietly and write down what you want to release. On a sheet of paper, tell the story of what you are ready to let go of i.e. “Today, I release the lack of love that I have for myself that allows me to pick partners that are no good for me. I release my low self-esteem and the message that I got from my father that I wasn’t good enough and my 8^th grade teacher that I was stupid. I release the boy who rejected me at the prom in 10^th grade. I release loneliness and finding being alone to be intolerable. I release this old pattern of selling myself short. I release desperately wanting what I think everyone else has. I release my current partner whom I know if not good for me. I release my desire to keep in contact with him. I release all of these negative thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and energies to the universe for healing. I no longer need these things in my life and they do not serve me being my best vehicle of love and kindness to myself or others in the world.” You will find this part of the exercise to already cause major shift.

Step 2: The Welcome Letter

Like all energy and space, when the negative is eliminated we must “fill” it with something. On a sheet of paper, it is now time to write what you will be inviting into your life, i.e. “I invite into my life a wonderful sense of self love. I invite ein new friends that want the best for me and think I am fabulous. I invite in new and exciting, healthy experiences. I welcome the feeling of enjoying my independence. I welcome feeling satisfied with myself and my life. I welcome in peace and forgiveness. I invite in taking a new and interesting class to keep my and feelings busy in a positive way. I am ready for and welcome in a feeling of love for myself. And when I am ready, I will welcome in a healthy relationship that reflects that love for myself.”

Step 3: The Burning Ritual

Now find out when the next full moon will be. If you can, do this exercise the outside and on the evening of a full moon but if you only have time in the day that is fine, too. Read you releasing letter out loud and when you are done, burn it in a safe container (i.e. a coffee container). Take several deep breaths as it burns. Now read your Welcome Letter. Read both letters with intention, even if it feels silly. You are telling the universe that you are emphatically ready for change and it is best if you can put your feelings and passion behind it. Do not burn your welcome letter. Keep it safe and enjoy reading it at other times if you are discouraged about your intention or path.

Step 4: Look for The Signs

Keep an eye out for changes that happen in your life and continue doing this ritual on a monthly basis, for other issues that come up for you. This is a cleansing process that truly helps to purge your system of the blocks and issues that prevent the life you desire.

You must be very aware of yourself and your daily experiences if you want to see the evidence that your ritual has worked and do not discount anything as merely a coincidence! Note: you also may need additional tools and personal work to completely release these issues from your life.

Enjoy!

Step 5: Tell Us About It and Win Free Stuff!

Blog the Dear Beth Blog with your stories of what happened when you did this exercise or any other questions about self growth and how to think, feel, and be happier. Your entry will help others learn while also being entered in a monthly raffle for a free individual Intuitive Breakthrough Session with Beth Miller.

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What: Gaia's Essences presents Women's Wellness Conference 2009

Where: The Holiday Inn Express, Stony Brook

When: Saturday November 21, 2009 , 5 - 10 PM

Why: The WWC is a local event that was inspired by women health professionals from the tri-state area. Seminar topics include Holistic Wellness, Healthy Cooking, Nutritional Counseling, Spiritual and Wellness Education, Fitness Training, and more! Network and learn with a gathering of like-minded, forward-thinking health and happiness practitioners from New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and Maryland. Bring a friend, and don't forget to stop by The Center for Self Growth's table to say HI!

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Article by Beth Miller

The 8 Good Reasons Why You’re Not Getting What You Want

Whether you have been consciously practicing the Law of Attraction or not, you probably have moments when you get frustrated that you are not getting something that you want.

Frustration happens, it’s human, and this article is meant to help you see the process of wanting something and getting it from a different vantage point that might help.

You might think you would like the idea of being like the genie on “I Dream of Genie”: to think up something that you want, cross your arms, wiggle your nose, and poof! Your desire stands before you, ready to driven by you, loved by you, lived in, worked at, eaten, flaunted, or spent in huge and worry-free amounts. That’s because most of what we want is our version of the perfect car, relationship, home, career, food, great body, or money in one form or another.

“Yes”, you’re thinking, “I DO want to be like the genie! I want to be able to wiggle my nose and get what I want whenever I want it.” But I’d like to challenge that….

Read more…

Imagine life on this planet with 6 ½ billion genies, each one ordering up the perfect cars, the perfect bodies, the perfect relationships, the perfect food, the perfect homes, the perfect careers, and the perfect amount of money. Whatever could be imagined or wanted could be accomplished without any effort or personal growth whatsoever.

Sounds good, right? On the plus side, the pros of being a Genie are:

You get to wear flashy, diaphanous, loose clothing

You get to have whatever you want, whenever you want it without any thought or struggle.

On the other hand, maybe there is a plus side to learning how to co-create what you want, instead of just having all your desires appear without any effort. By co-creating:

• We get to “have our hands in the clay”. (To potters, who make art out of clay on a potters wheel, the very enjoyment of the process if to shape and create the bowl, not just the finished project. Sometimes it falls, other times they learn how to move their hands perfectly and the bowl comes to life. The potter could just as easily go to Target and buy a bowl, but that wouldn’t feel inspiring or interesting. We all, like potters, like to be a part of shaping our life as it unfolds.

1. We need, want, like, and sometimes hate “The journey”. (Which one would you choose: to go white water rafting and take the whole journey down the river on a raft, feeling the calm parts and also the bumpy parts OR just dropping the raft in at the bottom of the river and saying you went white water rafting? Even if you don’t dig water sports, the point here is clear. We want the RIDE that is life, and we appreciate the bumpy and calm parts because they both exist. Just getting dropped off at the bottom would be safe, but mundane and boring.

2. We learn what faith is and how to actually have it (Faith is “believing without seeing”, and having faith enables us to remember that we are not alone in our lives)
3. We get the opportunity to keep refining what it is that we want as we go through the process of creating it (Imagine if you immediately got everything you thought or felt about, before you got a chance to be absolutely sure that’s you wanted. Remember that old slogan “Careful what you wish for because you just might get it…”)
4. We actually learn the specific skills necessary to accomplish our dreams (how to write a book, build a business, save money for a home, learn a language, read a map)
5. We feel satisfied about what we created (Think of how proud you were when you finger painted and said “Look ma! Look what I made!” How proud would you feel if you just ordered up a Picasso and showed it to your mom when any other kid could do exactly the same thing?)
6. We learn what is special about us, and where our individual talents and strengths are. If every genie could create the same things, there would be no differences between us.
7. Sometimes, when we don’t get what we want right away, we realize it was all for the best as time went on. (Sometime we are SO glad we didn’t get what we wanted at the time. For instance, years ago I was really hoping to become partners with a group of therapists but it just wasn’t working out. At the time, I was frustrated.. But now that I look back, I couldn’t be happier that I don’t get what I wanted! I travel less, am doing exactly what I desire, and make my own decisions. What examples do you have of being blessed that you didn’t get what you wanted at the time?)
8. And we get better, stronger, faster, and smarter by being challenged and using our muscles, our minds, our emotions, and our skills. Otherwise, they atrophy.

If you are not convinced that the sometimes struggle and frustration that is part of life is better than being a genie, think of the stereotypical trust fund baby who can’t find a satisfying career almost because they don’t have to develop the skills to learn how to make money and support themselves. On one hand, we all want to BE that person that has gobs of money and doesn’t have to pay bills while discovering their career passion. But when we really take a look at the people who have that, their lost feelings seem even more unbearable than our frustration at paying the bills while creating careers we actually like.

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By Beth Miller

Washing Your Mouth Out With Money:

Cleaning Up Your Talk To Attract More Abundance

Our mothers and grandmothers were right when they said “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”. It seems hard to practice that golden rule all the time. In fact, many people indulge in saying “nothing good” as a matter of routine conversation or habit. You know what I’m talking about: all the worried talk about money, pointing out the flaws of your neighbors or favorite-celebrity-to-hate, focusing on what is wrong with things instead of what is right, and the critical self talk when you look in the mirror.

We all know it isn’t necessarily good for us- or others- to talk about “nothing good”, but do you know how it might be actually hurting your own prosperity and abundance?

Read more…

Why Do We Focus On The Negative?

It’s all too easy to focus on the bad and I often wonder what’s compels us to be so intrigued by it. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Are you competitive and/or insecure? Maybe it’s a primal competitive nature to judge others or even bask in their misery as a way to make us feel like we will survive better than our competitors (other women or men). If they make mistakes or have a flaw, we can feel better about what’s imperfect about us. If this is you, your judgments about yourself will force you to judge others in turn.

Is the negative comfortable? Have you grown up in a critical environment where it was the norm to point out what is flawed, not-good-enough, or inadequate? If so, and even if you hate that it’s true, feeling disappointed or dissatisfied with life may be your comfort zone.

Do you get rewarded for being positive? When you are optimistic and cheerful, do others celebrate you or call you Polyanna? Do people still respect and bond with you when you refuse to indulge in the negativity? If not, you may fear being your newer, more positive self if it means that your relationships will suffer.

Do you get rewarded for being negative? Try to notice if you get more attention, empathy, or help from anyone when you are negative/helpless/dissatisfied. Do you get more oil when you are the squeaky wheel? If so, this will keep you complaining.

Are you bored and have nothing else to talk about? This is key. Some lives and relationships are built on kvetching or picking people and things apart, as a way to fill up the time and boredom. If this sounds like you, you may need to make your life more interesting to keep from filling up your conversation with interesting negativity.

How Your Talk Blocks Your Abundance

Of course it’s true that it’s better for everyone if you focus on beauty, grace, and the positive. It enables you to be kinder and emanate a helpful, loving energy that will affect everyone around you, even people you don’t even directly talk to.

But if healing the world with your own energy is not enough incentive, consider this: you are actually blocking many forms of goodness that are trying to get to you by being your own wall of negativity. The Law of Attraction is based on not only attracting but also allowing in what you want. A stream of good things always wants to flow to you. Your own focus on what is wrong with others, yourselves, or situations blocks that good and makes you a match to more stuff you don’t want. Period. It’s that simple. So…talk about someone’s shortcomings and your energy shifts to one of resent or disgust and that makes YOU a magnet for more situations that make you feel resent or disgust. Whoops! I’ll bet that’s not what you intended when you were trying to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down.

THE KEY POINT IS WHATEVER YOU TALK ABOUT WILL BE YOUR REALITY! Put another way, you can’t talk about what you don’t want and get what you do.

How To Stop Talking About What You Don’t Want

Wash Your Mouth Out With Money: Stop talking trash, and only talk abundance. If you are inclined to worry or complain about what is going wrong, wash your mouth our with soap and either say prosperous abundant things OR SAY NOTHING AT ALL.

Zip The Lip: Catch yourself as you are beginning to talk about someone and simply close your mouth.

Give Random and Enthusiastic Compliments: Start noticing people’s strengths and telling them (“You know Ruth, I was just thinking this morning about what a great dresser you are…”). Do this often. You will feel great and so will everyone else.

Clean Up Your Self Talk: Remember, the universe responds to your energy. You must emanate an energy of self love to get good things back (money, love, a great job, weight loss). You must start talking to yourself in a way that honors you so that the universe can do the same.

Just Because You Think It Doesn’t Mean You Need To Say It: Your thoughts are fleeting and temporary. There is no need to make them concrete by always talking about them out loud. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Create a Vision of Yourself: Make it your personal mission to be thought of as a really nice or kind person. Then, make decisions all day long to match up to the person you want to be.

Lastly, be kinder to yourself. We are taught to be so hard on ourselves and everyone else. You will be a magnet for abundance the more you notice what is great about you and everyone else!

Email Beth Miller with your thoughts or questions! thecenterforselfgrowth@gmail.com

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