Wednesday, September 30, 2009

By Beth Miller

Washing Your Mouth Out With Money:

Cleaning Up Your Talk To Attract More Abundance

Our mothers and grandmothers were right when they said “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”. It seems hard to practice that golden rule all the time. In fact, many people indulge in saying “nothing good” as a matter of routine conversation or habit. You know what I’m talking about: all the worried talk about money, pointing out the flaws of your neighbors or favorite-celebrity-to-hate, focusing on what is wrong with things instead of what is right, and the critical self talk when you look in the mirror.

We all know it isn’t necessarily good for us- or others- to talk about “nothing good”, but do you know how it might be actually hurting your own prosperity and abundance?

Read more…

Why Do We Focus On The Negative?

It’s all too easy to focus on the bad and I often wonder what’s compels us to be so intrigued by it. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Are you competitive and/or insecure? Maybe it’s a primal competitive nature to judge others or even bask in their misery as a way to make us feel like we will survive better than our competitors (other women or men). If they make mistakes or have a flaw, we can feel better about what’s imperfect about us. If this is you, your judgments about yourself will force you to judge others in turn.

Is the negative comfortable? Have you grown up in a critical environment where it was the norm to point out what is flawed, not-good-enough, or inadequate? If so, and even if you hate that it’s true, feeling disappointed or dissatisfied with life may be your comfort zone.

Do you get rewarded for being positive? When you are optimistic and cheerful, do others celebrate you or call you Polyanna? Do people still respect and bond with you when you refuse to indulge in the negativity? If not, you may fear being your newer, more positive self if it means that your relationships will suffer.

Do you get rewarded for being negative? Try to notice if you get more attention, empathy, or help from anyone when you are negative/helpless/dissatisfied. Do you get more oil when you are the squeaky wheel? If so, this will keep you complaining.

Are you bored and have nothing else to talk about? This is key. Some lives and relationships are built on kvetching or picking people and things apart, as a way to fill up the time and boredom. If this sounds like you, you may need to make your life more interesting to keep from filling up your conversation with interesting negativity.

How Your Talk Blocks Your Abundance

Of course it’s true that it’s better for everyone if you focus on beauty, grace, and the positive. It enables you to be kinder and emanate a helpful, loving energy that will affect everyone around you, even people you don’t even directly talk to.

But if healing the world with your own energy is not enough incentive, consider this: you are actually blocking many forms of goodness that are trying to get to you by being your own wall of negativity. The Law of Attraction is based on not only attracting but also allowing in what you want. A stream of good things always wants to flow to you. Your own focus on what is wrong with others, yourselves, or situations blocks that good and makes you a match to more stuff you don’t want. Period. It’s that simple. So…talk about someone’s shortcomings and your energy shifts to one of resent or disgust and that makes YOU a magnet for more situations that make you feel resent or disgust. Whoops! I’ll bet that’s not what you intended when you were trying to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down.

THE KEY POINT IS WHATEVER YOU TALK ABOUT WILL BE YOUR REALITY! Put another way, you can’t talk about what you don’t want and get what you do.

How To Stop Talking About What You Don’t Want

Wash Your Mouth Out With Money: Stop talking trash, and only talk abundance. If you are inclined to worry or complain about what is going wrong, wash your mouth our with soap and either say prosperous abundant things OR SAY NOTHING AT ALL.

Zip The Lip: Catch yourself as you are beginning to talk about someone and simply close your mouth.

Give Random and Enthusiastic Compliments: Start noticing people’s strengths and telling them (“You know Ruth, I was just thinking this morning about what a great dresser you are…”). Do this often. You will feel great and so will everyone else.

Clean Up Your Self Talk: Remember, the universe responds to your energy. You must emanate an energy of self love to get good things back (money, love, a great job, weight loss). You must start talking to yourself in a way that honors you so that the universe can do the same.

Just Because You Think It Doesn’t Mean You Need To Say It: Your thoughts are fleeting and temporary. There is no need to make them concrete by always talking about them out loud. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Create a Vision of Yourself: Make it your personal mission to be thought of as a really nice or kind person. Then, make decisions all day long to match up to the person you want to be.

Lastly, be kinder to yourself. We are taught to be so hard on ourselves and everyone else. You will be a magnet for abundance the more you notice what is great about you and everyone else!

Email Beth Miller with your thoughts or questions!

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